Grab it with both hands and don't look back

Whilst I don't believe I am as shallow as a muddy puddle, I have never held myself as a great philosopher. I am more from a school of thought (although not too much thought admittedly) that one must remember the past, enjoy the present and plan for the future. I don't live my life strictly by this code, but it basically explains my approach to the day and all it brings.

As John Lennon very famously and succinctly put it, “Life is what happens when you are busy making other plans”. How pleased was he when he came up or found that quote? In reality I believe that that one quote above all so closely sums up todays modern, internet tweeting, facebook surfing, life that you have to remember that he wrote it over 30 years ago in the song Beautiful Boy, for his son Sean. But in reality are things really that different in 2009 to how they were 50 years ago? OK, we have the sat nav, television & DVD, fast food, credit cards and there is of course the internet and all that comes with hours of time in front of LCD screens wishing that your broadband was faster.

All the stuff above, whilst very specific and indicative of the way we chose to communicate, spend our leisure time, eat, shop and pay for our purchases, it is only demonstrative that we embrace modern tools of life, not that we are different people or even better for it. Without waffling on too much, All Mod Cons do not change who were are, just how we get to where we are.

The real difference between then and now is that the speed we live our lives today is so much quicker than that 50 years ago. Travel was slower, expensive and infrequent. Food was more expensive, less varied and based on local, seasonal produce rather than the generic supermarket shelves that sell us bananas, apples and fresh salad everyday of the year. Communication was slower and again more expensive, with letters being the primary way people kept in contact, and phone calls were for the privileged only. We did get a phone at home eventually, although it was the early ninety's and even then it was phenomenally expensive. I suppose today is just faster and more disposable than back then. The colour brown is less popular and postman would be pretty worried about their future if it wasn't for online shopping.

The last week has been a very busy and difficult week. I went back to the Isle of Man for a family funeral without my family, which was difficult but probably for the best. Funerals are of course very personal and strange affairs. It is important to respect how different people cope with grief and the events of a persons death.

Remembering the person who died is the most important action and natural reaction to some one's death. Whether these thoughts are positive (which they usually are) or other, it doesn't really matter, it is the act of remembering that it is important. It allows you to recall your memories of that person and remember what was individual about them. The funeral itself was not pleasant, but it was not unpleasant. The music played meant a lot to those who knew my uncle as it would of meant a lot to him if he was there himself. The service was very personal and the poem; written by my dad; and read out by the vicar was thoughtful and very emotional. After the service we layed flower and earth in the ground and then hung around not really knowing what to do. It was interesting and a little strange to meet my half brother and other family members from a long time ago. Not really knowing what to say, everyone acknowledging the situation and not sure where to go next with the conversation.

But then as with everything the moment was over and we all went our separate ways. The evening of funeral came and went as is the passage of time. I think that we could of spent a little more time remembering those who were not there, rather than drowning sorrows and trying to forget.

My own inevitable demise is something I acknowledge, but I choose not to focus on particularly. I think that at times of grief we have to acknowledge it is there, but we are all too busy making plans, eating fast food, planning a day out with the kids, listening to our favourite songs on the radio, buying a book on amazon or maybe even having the odd glass of wine for a treat.

We need to respect our memories and not dwell on the past too long. One of my favourite blogs recently informed me that,

"I thought I would be sad that my babies were growing up, but I am really enjoying living in the present. That involves moving on and not looking back over my shoulder yearning for the past.
Sometimes I do wish I could hold onto a moment, it would be lovely to be able to pop into photos and visit special times. But I would only like to visit not stay there - I guess this means I'm truly happy (bluerrhh!!). Remind me the next time I'm screaming at the kids!"

This is the point I am trying to make and that is it. And on that bombshell I will give you my choice of quotes about and life and death:

“Dying is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing to do with it.” - Somerset Maugham

"It hath been often said, that it is not death, but dying, which is terrible." - Henry Fielding

"The only thing I regret about my life is the length of it. If I had to live my life again, I'd make all the same mistakes - only sooner." - Tallulah Bankhead

"Live long and prosper" - Mr Spock